Life can get difficult for all kinds of reasons. For example, difficult relationships, loss, traumatic events, abuse, feeling stuck, deep dissatisfaction, hopelessness, persistent fear and worry, are some common difficulties. These difficult experiences can not only impact your emotional, spiritual, psychological, and relational wellbeing, they can also impact your physical health and life quality.
I help clients to get to know themselves better and accompany them as they look at their difficult reality. I support them as they work towards wholeness, healing, and a better life.
We need the company of others, and the sense that we are valued and respected, before we can be ourselves. To begin to connect with another person, to start to trust them—even just a little—is to begin to heal.
My job as a counsellor is to be that other person. Of course, my job also involves knowing about the kinds of issues which bring people to counselling, and about what helps with those issues, but the biggest part of what I do is to help you to be increasingly okay with knowing yourself.
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. Carl Rogers
Research clearly shows that “therapeutic alliance” and “client engagement” best predict therapeutic outcome. In other words, the strength and quality of the relationship between the counsellor and the client, and the client’s commitment to counselling and their participation in counselling, are what really matters.
There’s nothing here about how clever the counsellor is, how many degrees they have, or how good they are at diagnosis. What matters is the relationship between counsellor and client and their engagement in what they are doing together. That is why it is so important to find a counsellor you feel comfortable with... Like finding a place where you can be.
I approach counselling based on person centred practice and theory, experiential focusing, and attachment theory. I am interested in wisdom traditions, spirituality, and spiritual practices. For me, it all adds up to this:
Know what you are feeling and experiencing. Make space for that. (It may hurt.)
Don't try to hold onto it. Don't try to dodge it. Let it work through you.
Not holding on, not dodging, usually means we need to:
Work through difficult feelings and past experiences, allowing ourselves to fully taste and know them.
If we don't, life tends to get even more difficult. The art of counselling is facilitating and supporting all this.